It is so incredibly hot in my office...

So let me tell you a bit about my job. I am, for the lack of a better term, a graphic designer. I refuse to call myself a graphic "artist" like many in my line of work do simply because what I do is not art. I work for a sign company. I'm not so much talking street signs as I am big monstrosities of metal and electronics. You know those big school and church signs with the LED message boards and all that in them? Yeah, I design those. Not exactly where I pictured myself at this point in my life but the bills have to be paid.

So in addition to designing these ginormous (Holy crap! Ginormous is a word? I fully expected spell check to tell me I was stupid. But it didn't. That's pretty awesome.) signs we also do a full line of graphics and printing. You know, car wraps and murals and stuff like that. Our machine prints directly onto vinyl that has an adhesive backing. This material must be kept in a climate-controlled area with a consistent temperature and humidity level or else all sorts of havoc will be played on it.

So, I told you all this to tell you this:

It's fucking hot in my office...

I always leave the A/C set to 78 degrees when I leave the office. When I get here in the morning I turn it down to 72. As hot as it gets here the A/C runs pretty much all day and keeps my office around 76 degrees. This is comfortable to me and is a good temperature range for the vinyl. But apparently someone decided to turn the A/C in my office completely off after I left yesterday.

I hate everyone and everything right now.

Backorder Blues

As mentioned in my previous post, I recently ordered a computer to replace one here at the office that shat itself. I thought all was well... I got an order confirmation, a shipping notification, and have even been tracking the shipment in anticipation of its arrival.

I get to the office this morning and am greeted by this message (Bold/Italics indicates my edits):

Hi You Poor Bastard,

On checking your order from Friday … I note that the above part shows a back order status because God hates you … I am checking into this and will get back to you with an update or I'll just let you sit there and stare at your monitor helplessly while waiting for an update that will never come … 

Messenger of Satan

So, yeah... Later today I will have a big box of parts with nothing to connect them to. I hope you're all having a better day than I am.

Font & Typeface Humor

We all have that font or fonts that absolutely drive us crazy. As a designer, my list is probably longer than most. The usual suspects to be included on a most hated list are Arial, Helvetica, Comic Sans, Hobo, Brush Script, Papyrus, etc. Some of these are hated more for their abusive usage than any qualms about their quality. Except for Comic Sans. Fuck that font. Fuck. It.

Helvetica is an incredibly well made font and is extremely useful in a lot of design situations. Because of that fact EVERYONE uses it. Everyone. Every. One. Hence the inclusion on many "Most Hated" lists.

I just had a client request to use Comic Sans on his business cards. On his BUSINESS CARDS! A business card is, in most cases, the first impression that a potential customer will get about your company. You want it to be as professional as possible. Or, at the very least, you don't want it to look like it was done in Crayon by your 3-year-old niece.

In honor of my current twitchiness, I thought I would share a bit of font and typeface humor that I have collected over the years.

Hey, can you use comic sans instead?" - Client

Helvetica Makes Me Sick.

This is for using Comic Sans, you bastard! 

Arial.

Papyrus, Comic Sans, Times New Roman.

Comic Sans

Comic Sans is no joke.

Papyrus is the worst font.

Comic Sans

Comic Sans

Comic Sans

I think you are more perfect than Helvetica.

I shot the serif.

Comic Sans.

Comic Sans.

Hobo, Comic Sans, Papyrus.

Franklin Gothic.

Bluetooth headsets (And other annoying gadgets)

I love gadgets as much as the next guy. Hell, probably a lot more than the next guy. But there are some gadgets that are just abused recently.

Case in point, the bluetooth headset:

Yes, they are extremely convenient. They can even be a safety tool. We have all read the research about talking on your cell phone while driving. That's fine. Please, feel free to wear it while you drive so you can hopefully keep from cutting me off in traffic and forcing me to greet you in a rather ungentlemanly way.

However, it is NOT necessary to wear this thing ALL THE DAMN TIME. Are you really expecting to receive an urgent call while you're walking around in Wal-Mart? You're only going in to buy cat food and Q-Tips. That call from your husband asking how long to put the lasagna in the microwave can wait a few minutes, don't you think?

What's that? How did I know you were only going into the store for cat food and Q-Tips? Why, because I followed you, of course! My friends and I discretely mocked you from a distance while I silently formed this blog post in my head.

And speaking of annoying gadget use... Please, for the love of God and all things holy, save the laser pointers for presentations or entertaining your cats! The next time one of you little bastards shines me in the eyes with one of those things, I'm going to give you the beating your parents should have given you YEARS ago.

Oh... And you. Aspiring writer guy/girl. Is there really a need to record your every thought into that nifty little voice recorder your mommy got you for Christmas?

Just stop it.